You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
