Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
