I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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