Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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