I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
