Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
