I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
