Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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