Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
this is an emotional support booty call
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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