singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
