He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize