he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
