so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
