You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
