This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
