dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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