Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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