I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
