If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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