he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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