But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
