Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
