well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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