How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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