I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
