Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
