Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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