pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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