tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
