Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
