im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
