What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
