Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize