I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I will be naked everywhere
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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