Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
