Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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