rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
