puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I yelled at your uterus for you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
