Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
