So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
