i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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