You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
