it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
