i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
