if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
