where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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