i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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