Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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