I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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