That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
