omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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