wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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