too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
false alarm. still invincible.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize