You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
