when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
