Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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