don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
