I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
