Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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