Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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